Getting benched is one of the greatest fears athletes experience.
No athlete wants to get benched. Taken out of the game and losing their starting position.
It’s awful. It’s embarrassing. But it’s something many athletes will face at one point or another in their career.
Which is why, knowing how to respond to getting benched and handling it in a productive way is so important.
As a mental performance coach, I work with many athletes who have been benched and I also have been an athlete myself and experienced the frustrations of being benched.
When I was playing, I don’t think I handled getting benched in as productive of a way as I should have. However, I learned a lot from my experience and now use what I learned to help the athletes I work with.
What I have done below is outlined six tips for you to focus on when you get benched. The tips cover some strategies you can use, along with certain ways of thinking you want to avoid.
Tip #1: Pay Attention to Your Thoughts
When things don’t go our way, it’s common for our thinking to turn sour. Sitting on the bench, you beat yourself up and think about how you’ve lost your chance to play.
This type of negative thinking does nothing but lower your confidence and make it more difficult for you to bounce back once you get back on the field or court.
If you want to handle getting benched in as positive of a way as possible, it’s crucial you pay attention to your thoughts. Do not allow yourself to think too negatively or get too down on yourself.
Think in as productive a way as possible.
Now, the truth is, you got benched. And I’m going to assume you’re not happy about it. So how can you possibly expect yourself to think any way other than negatively?
Well, as difficult as it will be, thinking in a productive way will help keep your spirits high and provide you with the mental strength you need to push forward and hopefully get yourself back into the lineup.
What you want to do is work to keep your thoughts focused on what you can do to get back out there. What do you need to work on? What are some of the strengths you have?
When you get benched, it can feel like no one is on your side. Especially not your coaches. Which means it’s even more important for you to be on your side.
Which means you cannot allow your own thoughts to turn against you.
Tip #2: Focus on the Team
When you get benched, one of the most difficult things to do can be to cheer on your teammates. Especially the one who took your position. However, if your goal is to handle getting benched in a positive way, you must have a team first mindset.
A team first mindset means your number one priority is to help the team win. If that means you cheering from the sideline, so be it.
I know this will not be easy and I know it might even be the last thing you want to do, but it’s key for you to handle what’s happening.
When you get benched and you’re watching the game and lamenting the fact that you’re benched, frustration and embarrassment will grow. Both of which hurt your mental game.
We need to take your mind off yourself and off the frustration you feel. A great way to do so is by turning your attention onto your team.
Focus on cheering them on and helping as you can from the bench.
Can you pick up on any tendencies the other team reveals? Can you encourage your teammates after they make a mistake or get down in the game?
It will be tough, but take a team first attitude and think about how you can be useful to the team even though you’re currently benched.
Tip #3: Think About What Not Why
This tip applies more to how you will respond to getting benched moving forward. Especially during practices and training.
You want to think about what you can do to regain playing time, not why you lost the playing time in the first place.
They seem similar, but when you think about what, you focus on improving. On getting better day by day.
When you think about why, you’re stuck in the past. Your mind is caught reflecting on the mistakes you made and beating yourself up over what you did to find yourself sidelined.
Yes, you may need to think about why you got benched as a way to figure out what you can work on. But don’t get stuck thinking about why it happened. Gather the information you need, then turn your attention onto what you will do to get yourself back out there and regain your lost playing time.
Tip #4: Manage Your Anger
Anger and frustration are quick to follow getting benched. Your entire goal as an athlete is to play your best. Something that requires playing time.
When playing time is taken away from you, it’s natural to feel anger. Anger toward yourself, your coaches, the person who took your spot, and so on.
But this anger will not get you back onto the field or court. In fact, this anger will more than likely tear you down.
You need to be sure you are doing your best to manage the anger you feel in response to getting benched.
One way you can do so is by focusing on enjoying simply being around your teammates. This requires a shift in perspective, but is an approach I’ve seen work very well.
And an added benefit of focusing on enjoying the time with your teammates is that you’ll be in a better mental state for when you do get your next opportunity to play.
Instead of playing with anger that can distract you, if you’ve managed the anger well, you can turn your game around by playing well and hopefully reclaiming some playing time.
But that will only be the case if you’re able to keep the frustration you feel from taking over.
Tip #5: Stay Motivated
I’ve seen it happen time and time again…an athlete gets benched, gets frustrated, and loses motivation to train.
You cannot allow the fact that you got benched to strip away the motivation you have to get better.
If anything, you need to use the fact you got benched as motivation to improve.
Yes, right now you may not be playing. You may have lost your starting spot and found yourself on the bench for the first time in years. But that does not mean all is lost. In reality, this may just be a small bump on your athletic journey.
And that’s exactly what it will be if you stay motivated and focus on getting better.
This goes back to what I said about focusing on what not why. Focus on what you will do to get yourself back out there. Use that desire as motivation and train even harder each day to show your coach and everyone else the type of player you really are.
Tip #6: Don’t Press
Going off the last tip, while you do want to stay motivated and focus on improving to reclaim your playing time, you must be careful not to press.
There will come a time when you get your next chance. Coach puts you back into the lineup and you have a shot at reclaiming what you lost.
You must not press when this time comes!
Do not try to force a good game. This is something I have seen do far more damage than good to the athletes I work with. When they try to press and force a good performance, it takes them out of their natural rhythm, leads to stress, and causes them to underperform.
If you have trained hard, used getting benched as motivation, and kept your mental state steady, you should be in a great position to go out there and play well when your time comes.
Trust yourself in that moment. Do not try to force a good game. It will be natural to try and press, but work against the desire.
Let go, trust yourself, and just play!
That gives you the best chance to perform well, show coach what you can do, and reclaim the playing time you lost when you were benched.
Final Thoughts
Getting benched is heartbreaking.
You train hard and try hard during games, only to find yourself looking on from the sideline. Benched and feeling lost.
Getting benched will happen to most athletes at some point in their career. Which means, the most important aspect of getting benched is how you handle the situation.
To handle getting benched in as positive of a way as possible, there are six tips for you to apply:
- Pay attention to your thoughts
- Focus on the team
- Think about what not why
- Manage your anger
- Stay motivated
- Don’t press
Thank you for reading and I wish you the best of success in all that you do.
